31 Secrets To A Happy Married Life at Any Age 2021
You can achieve a happy married life in a number of ways. Small things can help maintain peace and harmony at home while big decisions can harm the domestic atmosphere.
While it is almost impossible to agree with what the other says all time, a couple should realize that it is possible to maintain peace even while arguing. Understand that a disagreement is temporary, and this small step alone can see your marriage through a variety of trials.
It saddens me to hear about many failed marriages. People try to find similar characteristics of those individuals in their spouses, they are comfortable with.
They compare their spouses with their family members and friends and thereby kill the uniqueness of their relation. Here are a few suggestions to fuel happiness in your married life till eternity.
1 Know Your Partner Well
Developing awareness of your partner’s tastes is among the keys to a happy married life. Your relationship can be shaped according to each other’s preferences.
When you are aware of your partner’s dislikes, you can refrain from doing what will cause distress to your partner. This will ensure your partner that you are considerate of him or her, a factor that is of utmost importance in the successful achievement of marital harmony.
2 Make Decisions Together
Making decisions together is also a key to achieving happiness in marriage for three reasons. First, this practice enables the couple to work in collaboration to reach a decision.
Second, both get equally involved in decision making. Third, if only one person makes a decision that ultimately turns out to be a bad one, it could lead to resentment.
3 Balance Your Work and Life
You have to pay a lot of attention to your married life to ensure its success, which means that you should learn to balance your career and personal life.
Sometimes, you could get very much involved in your career and push married life to the background. You have to put in some effort to prevent this from happening.
You have to realize that there is no career in the world that holds as much importance as your married life.
At the same time, it cannot be denied that sometimes you have to work at weekends and in the late evenings too. But make an honest attempt to minimize these situations.
Try not to bring your work home. In short, don’t allow your career to interfere with your married life. If you place too much emphasis on your job, your marriage will naturally suffer.
You can talk about your day at work or vent about some problem you might be facing with employers or colleagues, but otherwise, keep the office where it is and don’t let it wreck your married life.
4 Don’t Focus on Disagreements
All marriages have their share of problems and discords. It is important not to prolong an argument. If ever you disagree, try to come to a friendly conclusion. If this is impossible, at least agree to disagree and proceed with your married life.
Every day is a new beginning. Forget the disagreements or arguments of the previous day when you wake up to each day. In spite of your honest attempts, if you were unable to work out a solution to the problem, forget about it and go on with the new day harmoniously.
5 Agree on Financial Matters
Another key to a happy married life is to come to an agreement on financial issues. Financial matters create a lot of discord in married life.
Both partners should develop awareness about financial situations and establish a budget that is easy to stick to. This will prevent any arguments related to financial issues in married life.
6 Agree on Critical Issues before Marriage
Before getting married, know your partner well and discuss major issues. For instance, it will be disastrous to discover after marriage that your partner does not want any children while you want to become a parent.
Differences of opinion on such crucial matters can utterly destroy a marriage. Make sure that you marry someone only after coming to an agreement about critical matters such as this. It will prevent problems from cropping up in your married life in the future.
7 Don’t Discuss Sensitive Issues
Keep away issues that might create discord in your married life. While it is perfectly alright to have opposing points of view regarding politics or religion, it is not acceptable to allow your differences in opinion to cause a split in your married life. You can enjoy a harmonious married life if you respect your partner and his or her opinions.
8 Give Each Other a Lot of Space
Give each other a lot of space to ensure a happy married life. Spending a lot of time with each other can be suffocated. So, it is as important to be apart as it is to be together and communicate matters pertaining to your interests.
The time that you spend apart from each other not only protects the marriage but also enables each partner to retain his or her individuality.
9 Respect Your Spouse
Respecting your partner is of paramount importance in marriage. Couples that show a lot of respect to each other and to themselves can be civil to each other even during a disagreement. Respect always promotes peace and happiness in married life.
31 Secrets To A Happy Married Life at Any Age 2021
10 Share Household Chores
This is the greatest secret to a happy married life. A couple that shares domestic chores and goes out of the way to make things easy for each other to ensure happiness and peace in their married life.
You will wreck your life if you don’t help your spouse with domestic chores. You could also go as far as making a list of things to be done every day and taking your share of the responsibility.
It is not fair to burden one person with all the work; so a written document of the responsibilities that each partner has to shoulder will go a long way in protecting domestic peace.
Don’t confuse harmony in married life by agreeing to everything that your spouse says. You don’t have to agree to each and every issue to enjoy a peaceful and happy married life.
Many factors contribute to the peace and happiness of married life. Some might be crucial and some may be small, but they all play a major role in a harmonious marriage.
11 Make the decision to enjoy each other
I work hard to make her laugh. Walking out of the bedroom on some mornings, I give her a brief, fashion-model, runway walk displaying my choice of wardrobe.
Having character and being a responsible adult doesn’t mean you must always be serious. On the other hand, you don’t need to be a comedian to enjoy life and each other.
To create a fun culture in your marriage and home, start with minutes, not hours. My wife and I commit to cutting loose and having fun together for at least 15 to 20 minutes a day.
12 Make the decision to avoid ruts
Identify areas where you’re stuck in routines. When you get stuck in marriage and life, you might blame your spouse for being the source of the problem, question your compatibility, close your heart, and ultimately doubt your future as a couple.
The grind of life can create a vacuum of intimacy, laughter, and fun in marriage. But you don’t have to allow duty and responsibility to trump passion and creativity.
Break routine by establishing a fresh date night. Avoid the standard dinner and movie — try roller-skating, kayaking, hiking, jumping on a trampoline, or renting a bicycle built for two.
Plan a “staycation” (a stay-at-home vacation) without the kids. Shop for and prepare a multicourse, fine-dining meal at home. Whatever you choose, make it a new experience that gives you time to dream, play, and laugh together.
13 Make the decision to value your spouse
I call this “mining for gold.” Miners drill test holes, excavate the ground, and process soil — all in the hope of finding gold. Although there are no guarantees, they work hard for a payoff that could be huge.
She and I want to be great miners in our marriage. We started major mining last year — looking for things we value about each other. We write our nuggets on a list we call “The Fun Loving You List.”
My list for her includes:
I love her “all or nothing” passion.
I love her disdain for driving directions.
So, I love her spontaneity.
Her list for me includes:
I love his concern for my comfort.
But I love his fiscal responsibility.
I love his exaggerated humor.
Every time frustration or difference of opinion surfaces, we mine for more nuggets and add them to our lists. We regularly return to them to remind ourselves that our spouse is highly valuable.
We cannot control the circumstances thrown at us by the grind of life, but in whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can decide to pursue a fun, loving marriage.
It is nice to have a happy married life. But you can never tell what might happen in the future. Some can’t even escape from thinking if your spouse is really happy with you. Insecurity is something you cannot take away from a human being.
14 So what is the secret to keeping a happy marriage?
It won’t be a secret anymore, since I will be sharing with you the 3 basic things you have to remember to maintain a happy marriage.
The first thing you have to remember is to make time for romance. Romance is essential in married life. Marriage ages along with the couple.
Jobs, children, and some other responsibilities take up most of a couple’s life, and oftentimes; romance is not given that much attention.
15 How can you make time for romance?
You can maintain the intimacy by simply having a romantic date, maybe at least once a week, preferably without the children or in-laws. It would be better if it’s just the two of you, enjoying the company of one another, without any distractions, right?
In this way, both of you will be focused on one another, talking about romantic things, planning the children’s future, and sweetly bonding together. Also, remember not to talk about unnecessary topics like work or household budget, because this will just ruin the mood.
About the date, it doesn’t need to be in an expensive restaurant, just make sure you go to someplace other than your room where you can enjoy the company of each other. Maybe a picnic in the backyard or a late-night candlelight dinner.
The next thing to keep in mind is to listen to your spouse. So ask yourself this, when was the last time you had a severe heart to heart talk with your partner where you are really listening to what your spouse was saying?
So, whatever your answer is to this question, make sure that the next time you talk with your spouse, you will show sincerity and you will listen to what your partner will be saying.
16 Try to be curious and react by asking questions.
Don’t give an “ok” reaction. At least show you are listening by asking a question or show that you understand him or her. If understanding is in a couple’s relationship then they will truly have a happy married life.
Last but not least is, to be honest with each other. Keeping a secret from your spouse is really hurtful. Being protective is not a reason for you to keep a secret.
This will just keep you away from your spouse. So try being honest even with the simple things and you will see that sharing everything with your spouse will keep you both bonded and happy together.
These are just the basic things you have to keep in mind to have a happy married life. The other is up to you on how you will do them.
17 Choose to be attracted to your spouse.
Do you get to decide if you think your partner is hot? Believe it or not, yes. “Attraction to your spouse is a decision that you have the power to make throughout your marriage,” says Sunny McMillan, certified life coach, radio host, and author of Unhitched.
She recommends practicing “attraction thoughts.” To do this, she says, focus on the attributes you’re most drawn to, like your spouse’s great legs or the way they parent your kids (it doesn’t have to be physical).
The good news is that your spouse doesn’t have to be a cover model for you to feel attracted. According to Chute, “Happy marriages are based on a sense of connection,” she says. “Physical attraction is far deeper than looks.”
18 Laugh with each other.
Life is stressful, so it helps if you can find lightness even when you’re in the thick of it. “Typically when a couple has humor, it means they have perspective,” says Morris who recommends couples find laughter in both good and bad times.
She says that she has noticed that couples in happy marriages have ease around each other. Whether it’s through little inside jokes, a silly unexpected text, or even just watching your favorite comedy together, connecting with your spouse with laughter can increase your bond, she says.
19 Be kind to one another.
“It’s so important to be respectful and understanding of your spouse,” says MacGregor. “If you are critical and judgmental it usually ends in defensiveness and resentment.”
So to keep things happy within the marriage, avoid attacking your partner’s character when you’re upset. For example, she says, don’t say “you’re such a slob!
You never clean up your dishes.” Instead, try saying something like, “Because I made dinner, I’d really appreciate it if you could do the dishes tonight.” See how much nicer that sounds?
20 Celebrate small, good, moments.
“Most of us know that it’s important to be there for our partner during the tough times,” says Pawelski. But, she says, it’s just as important to acknowledge the good times, too.
She says that good things actually happen more often than bad, but couples often miss those opportunities to connect. So the next time your spouse shares something positive—like a compliment from their boss, “Immediately stop what you are doing and focus your full attention,” she says.
“Help them savor the moment by asking questions and actively celebrating the good news.” In doing so, you’ll show gratitude for the happy moments in your marriage.
21 Appreciate each other.
When you’re with someone all the time, it’s easy to take them for granted, but according to MacGregor, you should verbally express your appreciation every day.
Whether you’re calling positive attention to something thoughtful they’ve done, or letting them know something you like about them, “We all need to feel appreciated and reinforced for the things we are doing right,” says MacGregor.
For example, if your spouse makes you coffee in the morning, tell them it started your day with a smile. “If we don’t feel valued we may become resentful and grow apart.”
22 Accept and expect change.
Pawelski believes that to be truly happy in marriage, couples must be willing to grow and adapt. “Our needs are always changing, people are growing, and relationships evolve,” she says. “So what we need today may not be what we need years from now.”
Morris agrees: “It’s crucial to bend, flex, and pivot with each other in a balanced dance,” she says. Because in successful marriages, each person supports the other so that they can grow to become the best person they can be, and that means maturing as individuals and together as a team. Until death does you part.
23 Uniqueness –
As a couple, apprehend that you are special and unique. Your story is unique. Your circumstances and experiences are unique. Opportunities and threats in your relation will be unique too.
Your relation is a journey. Live through every moment. Don’t try to emulate the experiences of your siblings, parents, and friends. They have their own journey, which is different from yours.
24 Time –
No matter how busy you are, take some time out for each other. Quality time no matter how long or short span spent together rejuvenates the relationship.
25 Individuality –
As a couple, you will often be considered as a single unit. However, remember that you two are different individuals and have different identities. There can be disagreement.
There can be a difference of opinion. Embrace these differences for they are reasons for your exciting life, saves you from monotony. You didn’t marry your clone, so you are bound to experience variations. Accept each other’s individuality.
26 Communication –
Doesn’t matter what medium you choose but communicate as often as possible. Silence is golden but the silence of couples is not gold but the silence that kills relationships.
Communicate to destroy gossips. If you will not communicate, others will, not for you but about you. Your spouse must be kept aware of everything about you that might affect the course of your relationship.
27 Love & Respect –
Love is the strength of your relationship. Love each other without reason. Don’t look for occasions to express your love. Express it in your small ways, all the time.
Your love is a reason for your family (next generation); your family is not a reason for your love. It is sad to hear people saying that they are living together for the sake of the future of their kids and not because they are in love with each other.
28 Trust –
Trust each other and stay loyal. Trust and loyalty are glues that keep the relationship together. If you cannot trust one another your marriage will eventually dissolve, doesn’t matter how much you love each other. Love without trust is like music without rhythm.
A long and happy marriage is not a destination. It is a work-in-progress. It requires a sincere and honest effort from both the individuals involved in it.
Living together should not be a social responsibility. It must not be out of fear of societal revolt. It must not be a compulsion or a duty.
Friends, It must be a passion. It must be fun and enjoyable. And more importantly, it must help you grow – together and individually.
Below are some important keys to work on each day to make A Happy Married Life.
- 29 Communicate clearly and often.
- 30 Tell your spouse that you’re thankful for having him or her in your life.
- 31 Make time for you two as a couple.
- 32 Plan for some personal time.
- 33 Understand that it’s OK to disagree.
- 34 Build trust.
- 35 Learn to forgive.