3. Support Your Friend
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
My sister visits our mother’s grave on Mother’s Day and Mommy’s birthday. Also, she buys flowers and places them on Mommy’s tombstone. Doing so comforts my sister. However, I prefer not to visit the grave. I find comfort by journaling about our mother, and telling my children and husband about her. If your friend needs your support to visit her mother’s grave, and if you’re willing and able to lend that level of comfort, you should do so. Buying flowers and placing them on the grave, along with your friend, is a beautiful gesture of love and respect. On the other hand, if your friend wants to visit the gravesite alone or not at all, support her in that decision. Again, the best way to help your friend is by knowing her preferences.
When I told my sister about this article, she suggested having a girls’ day as another way of supporting your friend. Perhaps you can treat your friend to mani-pedis and lunch. Or if you live close to the beach, you could drive there and spend the day on the boardwalk. If your friend enjoys going to the movies, you could incorporate that as well. The key to a successful girls’ day is asking your friend what she wants to do.
4. Be a Shoulder to Cry On
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
No matter what you decide to do for your friend, expect tears. Be a shoulder for your friend to cry on. Hold her hand, rub her back, or don’t touch her at all (again, it’s all about knowing your friend’s preferences). If she needs to cry, let her. Don’t tell her not to cry. Check your discomfort at the door. Watching someone mourn or grieve isn’t easy. It makes us uncomfortable. However, if we want to be strong, supportive friends, we have to allow our friend to mourn and grieve how she needs to mourn and grieve.
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