How to Know if You Expect Too Much from a Relationship


Before, during, or after being in a relationship, it is essential to realize that you are a complete, whole, and satisfied human being on your own. Yes, man was not created to be alone (Genesis 2:18), but if you believe that dating someone will complete you, then you’ve got it all wrong.

A relationship will not make you happy, whole, or meet every need you have 24/7, seven days a week. You are in charge of your behavior, completeness, and taking care of yourself; that’s called being independent.

As sad as it is to admit, my despondent actions were ignorant before I met my current boyfriend. If a guy didn’t like me back, I believed it was the end of the world and took it very personally. In reality, I should have seen it as a blessing from the Lord, protecting my heart until the right time.

Now in a relationship, it is also imperative to not cling too tightly to what doesn’t have a ring or covenant place on it. Although I want my relationship to end in marriage, we have to be willing to admit and submit that the Lord is in control.

Proverbs 16:9 of the AMP reminds us, “A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], But the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.” In the ERV, the verse reads, “People can plan what they want to do, but it is the Lord who guides their steps.”


As much as you love your boyfriend or girlfriend, it is essential to remember while dating that you are your own person, and every individual needs time apart. It is said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but more important is the development of your spiritual, mental, social, emotional, and physical well-being while dating.

It is not your partner’s responsibility to complete and fulfill you. If you are expecting them to be the perfect person 100% of the time, or cling to their side 24/7 because you can’t live without them, then you’ve overstepped healthy boundaries. While it may differ from couple to couple, wholesome borders advocate time spent together and growth as individuals.

Romans 12:10 and Mark 12:29-31 remind us that we are to love God and love others, but we must also prioritize our relationship with Jesus above our significant other. Remember, we are called to love God first and others second, and if we’re clinging more tightly to a relationship than to God, then we’ve whacked the whole order out of proportion (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10; 1 Peter 1:22). Worshipping your spouse over the Lord will not end in beauty.

Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Nikko-Macaspac

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