Are You Allowed to Have Sex if You’re Engaged?

Let’s dive into what Scripture says about sex.

We have literally over 100 results when it comes to verses on sex, but we’ll discuss a few of them here.

Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” 

So what does undefiled mean here? Does it mean including other partners outside of a monogamous relationship or something more? 

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Does having sex outside of a marriage, even when you intend to marry, qualify as sexual immorality? 

What if a couple prayed about the issue and feels at peace about it

1 Corinthians 7:1-3, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

Let’s address this passage here, because I believe this one best hits the nail on the head for our answer to the above questions. 

Paul, here, knows that people have sexual drive, sexual passions. So much so that the Corinthians had written to him about this very matter. Knowing that they faced the temptation to have sex outside of marriage (and to commit other sexual acts outside of the Christian ideal of sex within a monogamous marriage) Paul encourages them to get married. 

The Bible makes it rather clear that God designed sex as a gift that comes as a part of marriage. 

Sex, in many ways, shows us how to love the other person in a marital relationship and give of ourselves unto them, and vice versa. It is incredibly intimate, and sex outside of a lifelong commitment can lead to incredible hurt once the bond has been broken between ourselves and that person. 

But maybe you’re planning to get married in a year, even a month. You know your future husband or wife has never shown any signs of disloyalty before, so why not engage in sex prior to the marriage if it’s coming soon?

Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Alejandro Avila

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