Since the new year is just hours away, it’s pretty normal to think about how you want your life and relationships to be different in the coming year–and maybe make resolutions around them.
You might want…
*A different job
*Better communication with your loved ones
*To be kinder to people
*Deeper intimacy with your partner
*A loving partner to enjoy life with
*To move to a new city or new house
*To stop eating sugar (or fast food or anything else you think is wearing on your health)
*To get more sleep
Or to just have a year without worrying about the virus!
The list is endless but as most of us think about what we want in the new year, our minds usually land on what’s wrong and the mistakes we’ve made or our loved ones have made in the past.
So what’s a common love mistake that a New Year’s resolution won’t fix?
Very simply, it’s withholding love out of fear–fear you’ll get hurt again, fear you’re not enough, fear you won’t be okay if something does or doesn’t happen.
Why doesn’t a New Year’s resolution “fix” the fear?
You can’t get rid of fear and have more love in your life by using your “resolve” or your will to do it.
You can’t convince yourself by repeating over and over-“I’m not afraid” and “fix” fear.
We’ve found that the trick to “letting go of fear” is to allow the love that’s always there to shine through.
When you don’t replay in your mind all the awful things that can happen (or have happened), your mind does settle and love for yourself and others does seep through.
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The truth is that withholding love does take effort and holding yourself tight and is a common love mistake.
When you stop “efforting” in that way, there is more ease in your life and naturally more love.
So if you are making New Years resolutions this year, don’t include all your “shoulds.”
“Shoulds” never make for lasting change.
Just remember that at the core of who you are is love and everything else will flow from there. You’ll be open to new possibilities and more love than you ever thought possible.
Happy New Year from the two of us to you!