“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45)
I really want you to meditate on that scripture before we move on to this last question. I am a big advocate of taking responsibility for your own actions before expecting others to be accountable for theirs. In saying this, we must check and put boundaries on our tongue before expecting our significant other to. My wife and I went out on a date when we were courting, and covered some of these boundaries. A huge one was speaking on the phone late at night whether on Facetime or over the phone.
I had learned from the past that after a certain time at night I would say things to flirt, but God convicted me that these words were actually to entice her to sin with me. This is not wise and doesn’t bring God glory. Therefore, we agreed to get off the phone if we were tired, or by 12 midnight.
Some other things we should be on guard for is lying, gossiping, slander, or even using an angry tone. These are all things that can be discussed and defined on a date with your significant other about your boundaries.
Lastly, one major thing you should look out for is if a person is flatterer. Proverbs 26:28 says, “A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” That word flattery in the original language means a “smooth talker.” Let me warn you, there are tons of smooth talkers out there, and I encourage you to set boundaries to stay away from people like this. Why? Because these people will puff up your ego, which might cause pride and make you look past your non-negotiables.
I hope these seven questions helped you on your journey as you engage in romantic relationships. If you ever want to learn more about boundaries in dating, please check Dr. Henry Clouds and John Townsends’ book series on ‘Boundaries.’ It is an excellent resource. One thing I know is that boundaries can save your relationship before it starts!
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