3. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are a natural part of life in the sense that we have property lines, borders, and no-crossing zones. Simply put, boundaries are agreements between two parties assuring them the space they inhabit is guarded and respected.
Setting boundaries in the way people treat you is a healthy and gentle way to let the other person know that you have safeguards in place to protect yourself. The angry person might not like your boundaries, but they’ll soon realize they’re not going to be allowed to cross them.
Here are a few things you can say lovingly but firmly when setting boundaries:
“I’ll be happy to discuss this with you when you’re calm.”
“I don’t appreciate that tone.”
“Let’s take a break and talk about this later.”
“Please lower your voice.”
“You’re not allowed to speak to me that way.”
Jesus warned His disciples to “be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” This indicated a need for them to put up safeguards—boundaries—so they did not fall prey to the harmful influence of the Pharisees’ and Sadducees’ teachings. When dealing with an angry person, set boundaries against harmful words and behaviors that aren’t beneficial to you or your relationship.
4. Seek Help
If you find yourself dealing with someone who is chronically angry, it would be wise to seek Biblical counseling. Though the other person might be resistant, pray and ask God to soften their heart and open the door for healing.
There’s no reason you should constantly have to endure someone else’s anger. God can deliver anyone from anything at any time. As I shared in my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues With the Covering of Christ, my temper would flare at the slightest of things until I saw how it was adversely affecting my children. Once I got a wake-up call, I repented and sought help for my chronic anger. Even if your loved one isn’t open to receiving wise counsel, seek help for yourself. By doing this, you’ll be given the tools and support needed.
Anger in itself isn’t wrong when used to make a statement for good. It becomes harmful when someone uses it to manipulate and control. Resist the urge to join in and set your personal boundaries. Be informed on the type of anger you’re dealing with and reach out for help when needed. You can choose to deal with anger gently—which will hopefully help the other person see there’s a better way to handle stress and communicate calmly and effectively.
More resources for your journey:
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